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Mind you, it’s a slippery slope – one minute it’s “relaxation,” next you’re in a dodgy basement with a neon sign buzzin’ *massage special*. Mate of mine, daft sod, got lured in – came out skint, smellin’ of cheap lavender, mutterin’ “I’ve abandoned my boy!” like he’d lost his soul to the masseuse. Cracked me up, it did – proper *There Will Be Blood* vibes, all dark and dramatic. Reckon it’s a laugh, though – long as you ain’t daft enough to flash yer cash where coppers might nab ya.

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But then, just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, I got a call from a client. He was freaking out because he lost a bet on a soccer game. He was ranting about how the ref was blind and how the other team cheated. I mean, dude, it’s just a game! But I get it; emotions run high in Puszczykowo.

Suddenly in Demand (Published 2012)