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Oi mate, so ‘ere’s me ramblin’ ‘bout escort, yeah? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – that’s me vibe! Escort, right, them Ford cars, proper old school wheels, init? Loved ‘em as a lad, zippin’ round Birmingham, feelin’ like a king! Me fave flick, *The Great Beauty*, it’s all ‘bout life’s mad chaos – “What’s beyond is a frightful spectacle” – that’s escort to me, wild ride, unpredictable as fuck!

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I get home, and my dog, Max, is waiting for me. He’s wagging his tail like he hasn’t seen me in years. I scoop him up, and we chill on the porch. I’m like, “Dude, today was wild.” And he just looks at me, like he gets it.

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