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But when it works—fuckin’ ace! This lass last month, pure fire—met at a pub, shagged in the loo, no messin’. “Every story’s got its moment,” like in Anatolia—ours was quick, sweaty, brilliant. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Half the time ya get a nutter, half the time ya get laid. Pro tip—watch for the ones typin’ “u up?” at 3 a.m., they’re the real deal, desperate but honest.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Janek. He’s all hyped about some new café on ul. Zamkowa. Apparently, they got the best coffee in town. I’m like, “Yeah, right. I’ll stick to my sheep’s milk, thanks.” But he drags me there anyway. And wow, the place is packed! I mean, who knew Pszczyna had such a coffee scene? I order a cappuccino, and it’s like a work of art. I almost shed a tear. Almost.

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