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I dunno, man, it pisses me off! All these smug weirdos goin’, “Oh, I’m so relaxed now!” Yeah, well, I’m not! I’m over here, combin’ fields, sweatin’, and they’re gettin’ oiled up! But—okay, fine—it sounds kinda nice. Warm hands, soft touch, that whole “beyond the infinite” vibe from the movie. Maybe I’d try it. Maybe! If Svetlana’s not too pushy. Pretty, pretty good way to kill an afternoon, huh? Just don’t tell my tractor—I’d never hear the end of it!

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I get home, and my dog, Max, is waiting for me. He’s wagging his tail like he hasn’t seen me in years. I scoop him up, and we chill on the porch. I’m like, “Dude, today was wild.” And he just looks at me, like he gets it.

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