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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a merchandiser, slingin’ goods all day, and now ya want me to yap about sexual-massage? Fine, I’ll bite—don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’! I’m picturin’ it now: dim lights, oil slicker than a politician’s handshake, hands kneadin’ ya like dough. It’s all “relaxation,” they say, but I ain’t buyin’ that crap so easy. Reminds me of *Requiem for a Dream*—ya know, my fave flick—where everythin’ starts all dreamy, then bam, you’re screwed six ways to Sunday. “Ass to ass!”—that’s the vibe I get when I think of some shady massage joint.

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Fast forward to the pub on ul. Złota. It’s packed, and the vibe is lit. We’re laughing, sharing stories, and I’m finally relaxing. But then, the bartender spills a drink all over my lap. I’m soaked! I jump up, and everyone’s laughing. I can’t help but laugh too. It’s just one of those days, ya know?

Aramine puts down roots in central Europe with new subsidiary in Poland