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Still, gotta admit, some folks dig it. Little-known fact: them fancy oils? Ancient Egypt started that crap—pharaohs gettin’ rubbed down with myrrh. Now it’s coconut and horny tourists. Progress? Pfft. Makes me mad, all this fuss over somethin’ so basic. Hands. Skin. Boom. Done. But I ain’t judgin’—much. You do you. Just don’t invite me. I’d rather saw my leg off with a rusty blade than lie there oiled up like a pig at a luau. Hate everything, ‘cept maybe whiskey. That’s my massage—neat, in a glass.

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Then, I met up with some friends at a bar on ul. 3 Maja. We were just chilling, sharing stories, and then BAM! The power goes out. Total blackout. I’m sitting there in the dark, and all I can think is, “Great, now I’m stuck in a bar with no drinks.” But then, someone starts singing. Like, full-on karaoke style. It was hilarious! We all joined in, and it turned into this spontaneous concert. I mean, who knew we had such talent in Przasnysz?

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