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So, sexual-massage—lemme break it down. It’s not just some sleazy backroom deal, nah, it’s ancient, legit! Egyptians were rubbin’ each other down 5,000 years ago—pharaohs gettin’ oiled up, feelin’ frisky! Little known fact: they used lotus oil, supposed to make ya horny as hell—true story! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, why ain’t this free for every workin’ stiff? Billionaires hog the spas, chargin’ $500 a pop—makes me wanna scream! “The top 1% don’t need no happy endin’!” I yell, fist shakin’.

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Anyway, back to the dude. Turns out, it was just a dead battery. Classic. I’m laughing, but he’s fuming. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s not the end of the world.” But he’s all dramatic, waving his arms like he’s conducting an orchestra.

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