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I tried it once—yep, frog legs and all! This chick’s profile? Total smokeshow. Bio said “loves green guys.” I’m like, score! We vibe online, she’s flirty, I’m drooling. Then bam—meetup’s a disaster. She thought I’d be, uh, *human*. “What’s reality, anyway?” I mutter, quoting Doc Sportello. She bolts, I’m pissed. Dating apps lie, man! False textures everywhere.

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While they’re saving Mr. Whiskers, I get a call from a lady on ul. Wrzosowa. She’s lost her keys. I’m like, “Lady, did you check your pockets?” But she’s convinced they’ve been stolen. I mean, come on! It’s Prabuty, not a crime hotspot.

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