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Me, I love it—gets da blood pumpin’! Last time, dis chick’s hands were magic, like she’s sculptin’ me into Mr. Universe again. I’m lyin’ dere, thinkin’, “I’ll be back for dis!” But den—ugh—some places, dey rush it, no soul, just wham-bam, five bucks, see ya! Pissed me off, ya know? I want da real deal—slow, deep, like Scarlett Johansson talkin’ soft in dat hotel bar, sayin’, “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be.” Dat’s da vibe I crave!

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Anyway, back to the dude. Turns out, it was just a dead battery. Classic. I’m laughing, but he’s fuming. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s not the end of the world.” But he’s all dramatic, waving his arms like he’s conducting an orchestra.

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