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Ey, so listen up, fam! Findin’ a prostitute, huh? Gabagool? Ova here! I’m Tony fuckin’ Soprano, alright? New Jersey’s finest, baby. So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this shit, cruisin’ down the Turnpike, mind all twisted like fuckin’ “Melancholia” – you know, that flick where the planet’s just gonna smash us all to bits? “There’s no escape,” Kirsten Dunst says, all gloomy and shit. That’s me, lookin’ for a hooker – no escape from the grind, capisce?

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I hit up this little spot on ul. Złota. Best pierogi ever! I’m stuffing my face, and this guy next to me starts talking about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Poland. It’s always unpredictable.” But he’s super into it, going on about how it’s gonna rain. I’m just nodding, thinking about how I need to get back to work.