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Then there’s the thrill—happy vibes! Hooked up with a gal—spark city. She quoted, “The earth is evil”—*Melancholia* line! Geeked out hard, so hot. Sex-dating’s roulette—spin it, pray. Little secret? Victorian era had “courting ads”—OG Tinder, y’all! Newspapers sold ass on the low. History’s freaky, love that shit.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Tomek. He’s always got the craziest stories. He told me about this wild party last weekend. Apparently, someone tried to DJ with a potato. A potato! I mean, how does that even work? We laughed so hard, I almost spilled my cappuccino.