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I was proper shocked, yeah, when I heard this one story. Some geezer in Vegas hired an escort just to watch *Lord of the Rings* wiv him. Three bloody hours! She sat there, didn’t moan once. Respect, innit? Makes me happy, that – someone out there gettin’ paid to nerd out. But then I got vexed, ‘cos why ain’t I got that hustle? Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, probs ‘cos I’d talk through the whole film, bruv.

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First off, I hit up the local café on ul. Łaskotka. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual – a double espresso, extra shot. I need that jolt, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she’s cute, so I let it slide.

Fig. 5. Geothermal district heating system in Poddębice, current...