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Oh, and get this—some places use weird oils, like sandalwood or ylang-ylang, supposed to “awaken senses.” I’m like, “Awaken my wallet, more like!” But it’s legit, smells amazin’, makes ya feel fancy. I’m ramblin’, I know, but sexual-massage? It’s a trip. Not for everyone—some folks’d rather jump outta planes than try it. Me? I’m curious, neurotic, but I’m like, “I gotta remember this!”—tattooin’ it on my soul, *Memento*-style. Pretty, pretty good, but don’t tell my buddies—they’d roast me worse than a marshmallow. So, yeah, that’s my deal—whaddaya think?

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After that, I head over to ul. Kościuszki for lunch. I’m starving! I hit up this little bistro, and the pierogi? OMG, they were heavenly! I’m talking about a flavor explosion in my mouth. I could’ve eaten a hundred. But then, I spill some sour cream on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking disaster.

This week in Jewish history | Future Israeli Prime Minister and “Father of the Nation” David Ben-Gurion born