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So, I was googling, right—found this weird fact! Back in ancient Rome, they did oily rubdowns, called it “massage” but with a wink, ya get me? Rich dudes paid big for it! Made me laugh—imagine SpongeBob tryin’ that! “Ooooh, Squidward, rub me fancy!” Ha!

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First off, I’m setting up the bar, and this dude walks in. I swear, he looked like he just crawled outta a dumpster. His shirt was stained, and he had this wild hair. I’m like, “Bro, you good?” He just grins and orders a vodka. Classic. I pour it, and he downs it like it’s water. I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s gonna be trouble.”

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