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Sex-dating’s a freakin’ jungle, man. You got dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a job. Chicks ghostin’ ya after one text. I tried it once – Tinder, Grindr, whatever – matched this hottie, thought I’d scored big. Nah, fam, catfished! Showed up, she’s 50, not 25 – surprise, asshole! Made me mad as hell, wasted my damn night. “The knife cuts deep!” – that’s from “Moolaadé,” and yeah, felt that sting.

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Next thing I know, he’s spilling his beer everywhere. I’m dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I finally tell him to take it outside. He storms out, slamming the door. I’m just standing there, shaking my head. Pilczyce, man. You never know what’s gonna happen.

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