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Now, I’m a geezer who loves *Melancholia* – that flick where the world’s endin’, skies crashin’, and Kirsten Dunst is all moody-like. “In the face of oblivion,” I says to meself, “why not get a cheeky erotic-massage?” Imagine it – planet’s hurtling towards us, and there I am, oiled up, some lass kneadin’ me knots out, whisperin’, “The earth is evil, Winston, no need to grieve it.” I’d be laughin’ me arse off – what a way to go!

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We huddle up, and I’m trying to keep it together. But then, my colleague, Kasia, starts talking about her cat. I mean, I love cats, but c’mon, not now! I’m like, “Kasia, can we save the cat stories for later?” She gives me this look, like I just kicked her puppy. Ugh, I feel bad, but priorities, right?

Why those AI-generated portraits all over social media have artists on edge