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The rub? Insurance don’t cover this crap— “pre-existing horniness” ain’t a condition, folks! I’m laughin’ thinkin’ bout it—some schmuck files a claim, “My back hurts from all the fun.” Yeah, right, tell it to the judge, pal. Oh, and get this—there’s this ancient trick, Thai massage joints used to sneak “extras” by callin’ it “energy work.” Sneaky bastards, been at it forever!

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So, I keep walking, and I hit ul. 1 Maja. There’s this café, and I’m starving. I grab a zapiekanka. Best decision ever! I mean, who doesn’t love a good zapiekanka? I’m munching away, and this guy next to me starts talking about the local football team. “Did you see the game last night?” he asks. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to eat here.” But I nod and pretend to care.

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