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I got this buddy, swear he’s addicted. Goes to this shady joint downtown. Says it’s “therapeutic,” ha! Great Scott, therapeutic my ass! Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this crap. Called it “anatripsis.” Rubbin’ down athletes, all oiled up. Bet they got frisky too! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ bout some toga dude gettin’ a happy ending.

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I rush back, dodging people on ul. Słowiańska. I’m sweating, and my brain’s racing. I finally get to the office, and Kowalski’s waiting. “What did you find?” he asks. I’m like, “A bike, a zapiekanka, and some juicy gossip.” He’s not impressed.

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