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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson – deadpan, “I hate everything.” Sex-dating? What a damn mess. Buncha horny fools swipin’ right, left, whatever. Me? I’d rather carve wood than deal with that crap. But here’s the deal – it’s everywhere, like flies on a corpse. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, grindin’ my gears. People lookin’ for quick bangs, no class. Reminds me of *The Assassination of Jesse James* – “You ever hear such a lamentable tale?” All this sex-dating nonsense feels just as pitiful.

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market. You know, the one on ul. Szkolna? It’s got everything—fruits, veggies, random knick-knacks. I’m browsing, trying to find some good deals. I spot these amazing strawberries. I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, the vendor tries to charge me an arm and a leg. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not buying a car here!” So, I haggle a bit. It’s all in good fun, but man, I’m sweating bullets.

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