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But the prices—fuck me, outrageous! We hates it! Ten quid for a quickie? Robbery, that is! Used to be a bob or two, old timers say—inflation’s a bitch, innit? Me head’s spinnin’, thinkin’ ‘bout Todd Haynes, all them pretty colors hidin’ the muck. “Something’s broken inside,” she says in the film—yeah, me wallet, lass! I’s hagglin’, she’s laughin’, callin’ me a tight git. Fair, that.

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First off, I hit up ul. Piaseczyńska. Gotta love that street. It’s like the main artery of this place. I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this cute little café. I mean, who can resist a good croissant, right? So, I pop in. The smell? OMG. Heaven. But then, I order a coffee, and the barista—let’s call him “Mr. Grumpy”—totally messes it up. Like, how do you mess up a simple latte? I’m standing there, fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science!

Michael Kors opens Piaseczno boutique