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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson – deadpan, “I hate everything.” Sex-dating? What a damn mess. Buncha horny fools swipin’ right, left, whatever. Me? I’d rather carve wood than deal with that crap. But here’s the deal – it’s everywhere, like flies on a corpse. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, grindin’ my gears. People lookin’ for quick bangs, no class. Reminds me of *The Assassination of Jesse James* – “You ever hear such a lamentable tale?” All this sex-dating nonsense feels just as pitiful.

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After that, I’m feeling kinda peckish, so I hit up this little spot on ul. Kościuszki. They’ve got the best pierogi. I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I chat with the owner. Super nice guy. He tells me about Pelplin’s history, how it used to be a big deal back in the day. I’m like, “Wow, I had no idea!” But then, my food comes, and I forget everything. Those pierogi are heavenly! I’m in my own little world, just shoveling them in.

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