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About Lublin

So, sexual-massage—fancy word for dodgy rubdowns. We hates it! All them lot thinkin’ it’s “relaxin’”—nah, mate, it’s awkward as hell. Some bloke in Budapest told me once—back in the ‘90s, right?—these massages were code for brothels. Sneaky buggers! Didn’t know that, did ya? Proper shocked me, it did—thought it was just posh spa shite.

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So, I’m walking, and suddenly, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on ul. Słowiańska. This dude is juggling flaming torches! Like, what? I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “Is this guy for real?” I mean, I can barely juggle my life, and here he is, juggling fire. I was half-expecting him to set his hair on fire. Spoiler: he didn’t. But I was ready to call the fire department, just in case.

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