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About Lodz

Aye, respect my authoritah! I’m Eric Cartman, yer damn Clinical Research Specialist, and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, so listen up, ya hippie freaks! Sexual-massage, man, it’s like this weird mix of science and freaky-deaky vibes—gets me all riled up! I mean, it’s supposed to be all therapeutic, right? Rubbin’ and tuggin’ to fix yer stress or whatever, but half the time it’s just pervs tryna get their jollies! Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not fat, I’m big-boned!”—cuz it’s so damn obvious what’s goin’ on!

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I get there, and the kids are apologizing like crazy. I’m trying to calm Mr. Nowak down. “Dude, it’s just a few flowers. You’ll sell more!” But he’s not having it. I’m thinking, “Man, you need to chill.” I help him pick up the mess, and the kids are trying to make it up by offering to help sell flowers. It’s a whole scene.

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