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Oh, and get this – in France, they’ve got snail farms, proper snail HQ. Blows my mind! Saw it on the telly once, nearly spat me tea out. Imagine the CV: “Snail wrangler, 2010-present.” Reckon I’d smash that gig, me. Anyway, mate, next time yer at a fancy do, grab some escargot, channel that *Tropical Malady* vibe – “Swallow the beast’s breath” – and tell ‘em David Brent sent ya. Top notch, that’s me! Snails, eh? Who’d’ve thunk it?
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So, I grab my phone, and guess what? No signal. I’m cut off from the world. I’m about to lose it. I mean, how am I supposed to finish this violin? I start pacing around, muttering to myself. “Why do I even do this?” Classic overthinking, right? But then, I remember the festival coming up. Gotta have my violins ready for the big show.
Drunk man faces eight years in prison for invading Polish town in Russian tank
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