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Kinda reminds me of *Spring Breakers*—all shiny on top, dark underneath. “You’re my fuckin’ soulmate,” Franco’s character says—imagine an escort sayin’ that to a client, ha! Total mindfuck. I’d be like, “How you doin’?”—tryin’ to charm her anyway. Joey’s got game, baby! But srsly, some escorts prolly deal with creeps—makes me mad. Wish they’d all get respect, ya know?

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this sheepdog. A real beauty, too. I’m like, “Man, that dog’s got style!” But then it starts barking at me. I’m like, “Chill, buddy! I’m on your side!” But it just keeps barking. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m getting heckled by a dog.”

Polish government announces state of emergency due to massive floods, another dam burst