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I tink, dis car’s a fighter, sneaky fast, not loud like dem muscle cars—more “hidden dragon” dan “crouching tiger,” ya get me? Prolly why I dig her, reminds me of me—rough round edges, but heart of gold. Escort XR3i, dat hot hatch? Oof, sexy lil’ ting, made me grin like a fool! But da new ones? Meh, boring as a stale pierogi. Gimme da oldies, da rally queens!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this sheepdog. A real beauty, too. I’m like, “Man, that dog’s got style!” But then it starts barking at me. I’m like, “Chill, buddy! I’m on your side!” But it just keeps barking. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m getting heckled by a dog.”

Chaos in Poland as entire city ordered to evacuate with floods battering central Europe