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Yo, how you doin’? So, escort, huh? Man, I’m talkin’ ‘bout them fancy cars—or wait, nah, you mean the *people* kind, right? Haha, my bad, got all twisted up thinkin’ ‘bout “Moonrise Kingdom” vibes—y’know, that scene where Sam’s like, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Total mood. Anyway, escorts—wild gig, right? Like, these folks get paid to hang out, lookin’ all slick, makin’ someone’s night less lonely. Kinda dope when you think ‘bout it—bein’ a pro at chillin’.

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that tiny café on ul. Kościuszki. You know the one? The barista there is always grumpy, but I kinda like it. Adds character, ya know? Anyway, I’m chugging my coffee, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Severe flooding strikes southern Poland and central Europe