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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, somethin’ the 1% probly hog for themselves! Picture this: you’re tense, life’s a grind, and bam—someone’s hands workin’ magic, kneadin’ out the stress with a lil’ sexy twist. I mean, who don’t want that? It’s like in “Caché”—you know, my fave flick—“Who’s watchin’ me?”—that creepy vibe, but flip it! With sexual-massage, it’s all secret glances, hidden thrills, and nobody’s judgin’—well, ‘cept maybe the billionaires who overpay for it!

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Then, I headed towards the Memorial and Museum. Man, that place hits you hard. I mean, you can’t just walk in there and not feel something. It’s heavy. I was walking through the exhibits, and I felt this mix of anger and sadness. Like, how could humanity let this happen? It’s infuriating! But then, I saw some kids on a school trip. They were laughing and joking, and it reminded me that life goes on.

The only Jew in Oświęcim, Poland, can see Auschwitz from her bedroom window