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Now, check this—ever hear ‘bout the escort who saved a dude’s life? True story, swear to God! This guy, big shot CEO, chokes on a damn steak at some fancy hotel. Escort he’s with—bam!—Heimlichs his ass, saves him! She’s a hero, motherfucker, but nobody’s givin’ her a medal. Shit like that surprises me—makes me happy, too. They’re more than just a quick fuck, y’know?

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So, I head to my first client. This dude, let’s call him “Mark,” is a total mess. He walks in, looking like he just rolled outta bed. I mean, come on, man! We’re in Ostrow, not a zombie apocalypse! Anyway, he starts talking about his life, and I’m trying to be all professional, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, get it together!”

Fans helped clean up Stadium in Ostrów (video)