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Hey, folks, listen up! I’m the prison warden, see—tough gig, lemme tell ya. Sex-dating? Hoo boy, it’s a wild ride. Back in Scranton, we didn’t have apps—nah, just bars and luck. Here’s the deal… you swipe right, bam, instant date! Watched *Carlos*—you know, that flick from 2010? That dude, Carlos the Jackal, he’d kill at sex-dating. “I am the revolution!” he’d say, winkin’ at some gal online. Me? I’m old school—met Jill the slow way. Sex-dating’s fast, tho—too fast sometimes!

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So, I head to my first client. This dude, let’s call him “Mark,” is a total mess. He walks in, looking like he just rolled outta bed. I mean, come on, man! We’re in Ostrow, not a zombie apocalypse! Anyway, he starts talking about his life, and I’m trying to be all professional, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, get it together!”

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