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Little known fact—Thailand’s got this underground scene, sexual-massage joints masked as “spa retreats.” Shady as hell, but folks swear by it. Makes me mad tho—why hide it? Own that shit! Ain’t no shame in feelin’ good. Surprised me too—didn’t think it’d be *that* big. Prolly exaggerated in my head, picturin’ some *Oldboy*-level revenge plot in a massage parlor—ha! “Be it a rock or a grain of sand, in water they sink the same.” Deep, right? Applies here too—don’t matter how fancy the oil, it’s still hands on skin, basic as fuck.

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Finally, my pierogi come, and they’re glorious! I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m in heaven. But then, I spill some sour cream on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m sitting there, trying to wipe it off, and the waiter just chuckles. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”

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