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Here’s the kicker—some say it’s therapy, others say it’s sin. Me? I say it’s both, and I fuckin’ love it! Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells like heaven, cuts the tension like a blade. I’d carve a sonnet bout it if I weren’t so damn lazy. Oh, and the noises—grunts, sighs, the odd fart—pure comedy gold! Sexual-massage is messy, raw, like Aronofsky’s lens, and I’m here for it, mate. Thoughts in me head? Wish I could feel it, not just reap the stories!

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Finally, I get out, and I’m feeling a bit better. I head back to the salon, and my last client is waiting. She’s a sweet old lady from ul. Złota. She wants a trim, and I’m like, “Easy peasy.” We chat about the good ol’ days, and I’m loving it. She tells me about her garden, and I’m like, “I need to see this garden!”

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