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But mate, the weirdos – oh, they’re out there! Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Some geezer once asked me to wear a clown mask – “Sharon!” – I’m like, “What the fuck’s this?” Told him to sod off quick! Then there’s the ghostin’ – they shag ya then vanish, poof! “I need to know who he is,” I’m thinkin’, like Graysmith in *Zodiac*, obsessed n’ shit. Drives ya mental!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Hey, we got an emergency on ul. Warmińska!” I’m like, “Great, just when I was having fun.” So, I dash over, and it’s a mess. A tree fell on a car. Like, seriously? Who needs that kind of drama?

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