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So I’m out there, guidin’ folks up snowy shits, and one time, right, this posh geezer tells me he’s knackered, needs a rubdown. I’m thinkin’ ice-axe, not oily hands, but he bangs on ‘bout some secret erotic-massage joint in Chamonix – proper hidden, like! Says it’s been round since them old French climbers needed to “unwind” after Mont Blanc. Ain’t in no guidebook, fam, only whispers – little known shit, dat! Made me well happy, hearin’ summat fresh, not same old frostbite bollocks.

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the wet sock vibes, and I see this cute little café on ul. Górnicza. I’m like, “Okay, coffee time!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a killer beard, spills half of it on the counter. I’m just standing there, like, “Dude, really?” But he laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too.

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