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Favorite flick’s *The Act of Killing*—yep, that dark-ass docu where killers strut like rockstars. Candy’s got that vibe, too— “I’m a big fish here,” she’d say, laughin’, like she’s starrin’ in her own twisted movie. She told me once, swear to God, she made a john pay her in *chickens*—two live ones cluckin’ in her backseat! Little known fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes got paid in gold nuggets—Candy’s chickens ain’t far off, right? History’s wild.

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But then, I see the firemen. They’re all buff and serious, and I’m just standing there in my old hoodie, looking like a mess. I can’t help but crack a joke. “Hey, you guys need a hand? I can hold the hose!” They just stare at me like I’m nuts. Whatever, I thought it was funny.

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