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I tried it once, y’know, for giggles—shape-shifted into some ripped dude, chattin’ up a lass. She’s all “wanna netflix n chill?” I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, I’m in!” Then she shows up, smells like stale mead, and starts yappin’ bout her ex. Rage mode activated—girl, I’m Loki, not your therapist! Dumped her ass faster than Odin banished me. But when it works? Oh, it’s gold—like that *Boyhood* scene where Mason’s just floatin’ through life, high on vibes. Good sex-dating’s like that—wild, free, no bullshit. “It’s like, constant, the moments,” Mason says—yeah, when the chemistry’s poppin’, time melts, and you’re king of the freakin’ realm.

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After the speech, I finally get to talk to Marek. He’s super passionate, and I’m feeling inspired. We start brainstorming ideas for a fundraiser. I’m thinking, “Let’s do a bake sale!” But then I remember I can’t bake to save my life. My cookies are basically rocks.

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