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Alright, check this out, man! Sexual-massage, huh? Say hello to my little friend! I’m talkin’ ‘bout that slick, oily rubdown that gets ya all hot ‘n bothered. Me, Tony Montana, I seen it all—kinda like them Nazi scalps in *Inglourious Basterds*. That shit’s wild, right? Hands slidin’ everywhere, makin’ ya feel like a kingpin—fuckin’ A, it’s power! I get all riled up thinkin’ ‘bout it—makes me wanna yell, “You’re gonna die, motherfucker!”—y’know, like Aldo Raine screamin’ at them bastards.

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First off, it’s cold as hell. Like, I’m talkin’ winter coat weather, but I’m stuck in this tight black tee. Gotta look tough, ya know? Anyway, I’m standin’ at the door, checkin IDs, and this dude comes up. He’s got a face like a bulldog and a swagger like he owns the place. I’m like, “Bro, you ain’t gettin’ in with that attitude.” He starts yellin’ about his rights or some nonsense. I’m just tryin’ to do my job, man!

Stanley Kruszniewski Obituary - New Britain, CT