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Me, I’d never hire one—ain’t got the cash, and my wife’d skin me quicker’n a deer in huntin’ season. But I get it—folks want that thrill, that “ooh, I’m special” feelin’. Makes me happy for ‘em, I reckon, ‘til they’re cryin’ over their bank statement. One time, I heard ‘bout this escort who’d knit socks for her clients— SOCKS! Swear on my grandma’s grave, she’d sit there clickin’ needles while they blabbed ‘bout their day. Weirdest dang thing I ever heard, but kinda sweet, right?

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I’m sitting there, typing like a madman. My heart’s racing. I’m thinking about all the money I could lose if I don’t get this sorted. And then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s a notification. “Your bet has been placed.” I’m like, “YES!”

Photo of the Day: Ho‘olawa Bay trail