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I tried it once – total disaster. Matched with this hottie, thought, “She’s my limo to paradise.” We chat, sext, meet up – bam, she’s got a dude’s voice! Catfish alert! I’m like, “I’m not paid for this plot twist!” Reminded me of Holy Motors – “Who are we today, huh?” Laughed my ass off later, but damn, I was raging in the moment. Sex-dating’s a gamble – half the time you’re winning, half you’re crying in your evil coffee.

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After that, I finally settled down on a bench. I pulled out my proofreading books, ready to get to work. But then, this old lady sat next to me and started telling me her life story. I mean, she was sweet and all, but I was like, “Lady, I’m trying to focus here!” But she had some wild tales about Oborniki-Śląskie back in the day. Apparently, the town used to be a big deal for trade. Who knew?

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