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Alright, so sexual-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with it? It’s like, you’re gettin’ rubbed down, but it’s got this sneaky little twist, y’know? Pretty, pretty good—except when it’s not! I mean, I saw “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days,” that Romanian flick—bleak as hell, right? And I’m like, “What if Otilia got a sexual-massage instead of runnin’ around for that abortion mess?” Coulda saved her some stress! “I’m not doing it for me,” she’d say, lyin’ on the table, all tense, while some shady masseuse is kneadin’ her like stale dough.

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But then, I remember how cool owls are. They’re like the ninjas of the forest. So, I’m in. We’re brainstorming ideas when suddenly, this random guy walks up and starts talking about how he saw a bear near the edge of town. I’m like, “A bear? In Nowy-Tomysl? You sure you weren’t just dreaming?”

The World Wicker and Weaving Festival