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HehEHEHE! Why so serious, mate? So, sexual-massage—wild stuff, right? Picture this: me, a sailor, rockin’ the high seas, landin’ in some shady port. This chick offers a “massage”—wink-wink, ya know? I’m thinkin’, “A little rubdown, sure!” But nah, it’s full-on sensual vibes, hands everywhere, oil slicker than a storm deck. Little factoid for ya—ancient sailors traded coins for this crap in Thailand, called it "happy tug"! Hella old-school, right?

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Next, I decide to stroll down ul. Lwowska. It’s a nice street, full of life. But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy my day, and I get hit by a flying poop bomb. I’m standing there, fuming, thinking, “This is how my day’s gonna go?”

‘Poland’s Jewish victims had names’