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So, dis one time, I hear bout dese massage joints in old Russia—back when babushkas whispered bout “special hands.” Not yer average back-crackin’, nah, dese girls knew tricks, like secret Soviet codes! Rubbin’ ya down til ya forget yer name. Little known fact—dey used weird oils, smelt like burnt vodka and pine. Swear, one sniff, ya seein’ stars, like I did when Lucy dragged me to one. Made me happy as hell—muscles loose, brain floatin’. But den, some shady dude botched it—too rough, like he’s kneadin’ dough for borscht! Pissed me off, wanted to yeet him out da window.

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Then, I hit the park by the river. It’s so chill there. I sat on a bench, sippin’ my coffee, just vibin’. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and guess where it lands? Right in my lap! I was like, “Dude, really?” But the kid just laughed and ran off. I couldn’t help but chuckle. Kids are wild, man.

Poland continues big spending to upgrade bases for US troops