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Still, some folks swear by it, say it’s “liberatin’,” like Kate Hudson spinnin’ in that film, all golden and glowy. Me? Surprised me arse off first time I read it’s a legit job – trainin’ and all! Thought it was just pervs in basements, ha! Gets me thinkin’ – maybe it’s not all bad? Nah, still weird, slimy, we hates it! Hands off me treasures, ta very much!

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After that, I decide to hit up the park by the San River. It’s so pretty there, especially in the spring. The flowers are blooming, and the sun is shining. I’m feeling all zen, right? But then, I see a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re running around like little maniacs, and one of them kicks the ball right at me. I dodge it like a ninja, but then I trip over my own feet. Classic me.

Sand Nisko Capital to be traded under new stock name, Mpire