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Once saw this bloke – big shot, all prim – gettin’ a rub-down, an’ he giggled! GIGGLED! Made me cackle, raspy an’ loud – bloody hell, surprised me! Thought, “This prat’s human after all!” Sexual-massage ain’t just naughty bits, nah – it’s neck, thighs, that spot behind the knees – ooof, kills me every time! “The past is a forbidden place,” Tabu whispers, but I say bollocks – dig into it, feel it, precious!

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this café on ul. 3 Maja. They have the best coffee. I ordered a latte, and while I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. Apparently, she wanted to go to the castle, and he was like, “Nah, let’s just chill.” I mean, who wouldn’t want to check out the Niepołomice Castle? It’s gorgeous! I was ready to jump in and be like, “Dude, take her to the castle! It’s a vibe!” But I just sipped my coffee instead.

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