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Aloha, brah, it’s me, Stephen Hawking—well, kinda, rockin’ that robotic voice, cosmic wisdom vibe, yeah? Escort, huh, like the ol’ Ford whip from the ‘80s, not that *other* kinda escort, right? Nah, I’m jokin’, let’s dive into this—escort in Hawaii, man, it’s a trip! Picture me, cruisin’ Oahu in my mind, thinkin’ ‘bout *The Pianist*, that flick I love—Polanski’s masterpiece, ya know, where Szpilman’s hidin’, survivin’, playin’ that piano like his soul’s on fire. “I’m not hiding anymore!” he’d say, kinda like how escorts here gotta shine, bold as hell, in this paradise.

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Then, I decided to walk it off. I headed towards the park by ul. Leśna. It’s so peaceful there. I was just enjoying the greenery when I saw this little kid flying a kite. The kite got stuck in a tree. Classic! The kid was crying, and I felt for him. So, I climbed the tree like a total hero. I got the kite down, and the kid was all smiles. I felt like a rockstar for a sec. But then I realized I was covered in tree sap. Great.

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