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Little known fact, innit – back in Thailand, they call it “nuad phaen boran,” ancient massage, bruv. Been around longer than ya mum’s bingo nights! Them old monks was kneadinn’ backs and makin’ it saucy – sneaky devils. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ monks gettin’ freaky with it. Oi, imagine that – robes up, oil out, “Bless this rub, mate!”

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on ul. Zamkowa. Best croissants ever! I mean, I could live off those flaky, buttery dreams. But guess what? They were out of my fave ones. Like, how do you run out of croissants at 8 AM? I was ready to throw a fit. But I settled for a chocolate one. Not the same, but whatever.

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