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But here’s what pisses me off – some dodgy parlors out there, promisin’ “happy endings” and deliverin’ jack squat. Total con! Makes me wanna grab my Walther PPK and sort ‘em out. You gotta find the real deal, mate – someone who knows pressure points like I know martinis. Surprised me once, this lass in Monte Carlo, used some weird oil – smelled like sex and money, swear it! “Sell me this pen,” I joked, but she just smirked and kept goin’. Cheeky minx.

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Next, I decided to grab lunch at this little spot on ul. Słowackiego. The pierogi there are to die for! I ordered a plate, and while I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. They were going at it, and I’m just sitting there, trying to enjoy my food. The guy was like, “You never listen!” and the girl shot back, “Well, you never talk!” I mean, come on, people! Can we keep the drama to a minimum?

Analysis | Millions of Ukrainian refugees may stay in E.U., top official says