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Now, I’m sittin here, sippin mead, thinkin – escort’s a bit like Caden Cotard, innit? Tryin to build somethin grand, but it’s all chaos and rust. “What was I made of?” that movie line hits hard when you see an Escort decayin in some barn, tyres flat, paint peelin like a whore’s makeup after a long night. Makes me angry, that – good metal gone to waste! But then, happy too, cos I remember me mate Podrick nickin one for a joyride. Crashed it into a ditch, laughed our arses off – gods, what a night!

Julia Priv

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up. She’s like, “I saw everything!” I’m like, “Great, finally some real info!” But nah, she just wanted to tell me about her cat. I’m standing there, nodding, while my brain’s screaming, “Lady, I need car theft info, not cat gossip!”

Fig. 1. A male of Acmaeops septentrionis (Thomson) (collection of ONP)....