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But then—oh glory!—I stumble on a gem. Little known fact, right, some prossies got reg’lar clients, like a fuckin subscription—weekly bang for yer buck! This one chick, mate, she’s got a flat near Soho, proper discreet. Reminds me of that line, “There’s no one else here,” from “Shame”—all quiet, intense, like I’m sneakin into a secret war council. She’s fit, too—curves like the hills of bloody Kent! I’m chuffed to bits, heart poundin like a drumroll at Dunkirk.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up. She’s like, “I saw everything!” I’m like, “Great, finally some real info!” But nah, she just wanted to tell me about her cat. I’m standing there, nodding, while my brain’s screaming, “Lady, I need car theft info, not cat gossip!”

“Informal” courier jailed