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So, mate, listen up! Sex escorts – wild world, innit? Been around forever, sneaky-like. Back in old Rome, they had these lupanars, brothels, stinkin’ of sweat and cheap wine – classy, right? Now it’s all online, swipe this, book that, like orderin’ takeaway! Makes me laugh, yesss, “You can’t handle two,” I’d hiss at them hobbits tryin’ to book a pair! Me, I’d be rubbish at it – too twitchy, too bony, they’d run screamin’!

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First call comes in at 8 AM. It’s some dude from ul. Słowiańska, totally freaking out. His cat, Mr. Whiskers, is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a rocket scientist.” But he’s panicking like it’s the end of the world. I mean, come on! I’m just here to connect calls, not rescue felines. But hey, I get it. Cats are like family, right? So, I send him to the fire department. They’re probably used to this stuff, but still, I can’t help but chuckle.

Retiring Lithuanian bank note has U.S. ties with an aviation theme